How Jiu-Jitsu Helped Me Build Confidence as a Woman
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I didn’t walk into my first Jiu-Jitsu class feeling strong.
I walked in overthinking everything—how I looked, what I was wearing, whether anyone would talk to me. I remember sitting in the car outside the gym for a few minutes, debating whether to just drive away.
I was tired of feeling like I wasn’t in control of my own body or my own life. Something in me was craving a shift—but I had no idea BJJ would become the very thing that gave it to me.
Back then, I didn’t even know what to wear. I just showed up in whatever I had, hoping it would work. Later on, I found a place that actually offered gear made for women—and it honestly made such a difference. These are the ones that finally made me feel comfortable showing up as I am.
I Felt Like the Odd One Out
That first class? It was rough.
I showed up in leggings and a long sleeve top, because I didn’t know what to wear. Everyone else looked like they’d been training for years. When we partnered up, I was the only woman in the room. My hands were shaking when we drilled our first technique, and I couldn’t even tell you what we were learning—I was just trying not to panic.
The guy I partnered with was polite, but I still felt out of place.
I remember thinking, “Maybe this just isn’t for me.”
But the instructor came over and said, “Everyone starts somewhere. You’re doing great.”
It sounds simple, but it stuck with me.
Every Tap Taught Me Something About Myself
Those first few months were a mix of frustration and tiny victories. I tapped a lot. I forgot techniques right after we drilled them. I left class sore and bruised, not just physically but mentally.
But over time, something shifted.
I wasn’t afraid to fail in front of people anymore.
I stopped obsessing over how I looked and started paying attention to how I felt.
And slowly, I noticed the confidence I’d been searching for starting to grow—not from winning rounds, but from showing up and not giving up.
That’s the gift BJJ gave me: proof that I could do hard things, and that confidence comes from effort, not perfection.
My Body Changed—But So Did My Mind
Before Jiu-Jitsu, I had a complicated relationship with my body.
I criticized it, picked it apart, and rarely felt proud of it. But on the mats, everything changed. My body became something I could trust. Something that could move, adapt, and learn.
I stopped chasing how I thought I should look and started noticing what I could actually do.
That confidence doesn’t stop at the gym door—it follows you into real life. Into how you walk, how you speak, how you take up space.
Gear That Made Me Feel Like I Belong
Let’s be real—gear matters.
In the beginning, I wore whatever I could find. But most of it wasn’t made for women. I’d roll in rash guards that rode up or spats that felt more like tights. It was frustrating.
When I finally found gear that was actually designed for women in Jiu-Jitsu, it changed everything.
My favorite set? The Blue Butterfly Submission Queen rash guard and spats.
It fits like a dream, stays in place, and makes me feel both fierce and feminine. There’s something powerful about putting on gear that reflects how you want to feel—and then stepping on the mat and living it.
When I was starting out, I had no clue what I was doing when it came to gear. I just wore what I had and hoped for the best. Half the time I was adjusting something mid-roll or feeling super self-conscious. Once I finally found gear that actually fit and stayed put, I felt so much more at ease. It wasn’t about looking cute—it was about not having to think about it at all.
Confidence Doesn't Happen All at Once—You Build It
I didn’t become confident overnight.
It happened little by little. Tap by tap. Drill by drill. Day by day.
Now, when I face something hard in life, I think, “I’ve rolled with people twice my size—I can handle this.”
Confidence isn't about being fearless. It's about showing up anyway.
And if you're thinking about starting BJJ, I promise—you're stronger than you think.
If You’re Just Starting—You’re Not Alone
I was once the quiet girl sitting in the parking lot, scared to walk into class.
Now, I’m the woman who walks in, ties her belt, and knows she belongs.
And if I can get there, so can you.
🖤 Want gear that moves with you, supports you, and reminds you how powerful you are? Explore more at BJJ Sesh—a brand built for women who train hard and roll proud.